All new letter to Doctor Fun

Dear Dr Fun,

I was after a bit of advice seeing as you’re a GP or summat.

Basically, my mate (Peg) has offered to ‘rip me a new arsehole’.

Now, as I’m a right fat c**t (with my weight (increasing)) I think a new arsehole could help reduce the pressure on my current one which must be close to being clapped out by now.

So, I was wondering if there was a British Standard in recommendations for sizes of bumholes?

And would you need planning permission?

Yours

Ton F**worth, Sunnybank S**thole

[Doctor Fun has chosen not to reply]

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