Posts Tagged leeds united

Leeds United set to boost local economy

The West Yorkshire economy is set for a massive boost over the next few months – and it’s all thanks to a third division football team.

For the last two years, the staff of Leeds United have suffered a collective bout of choking. The symptoms usually begin in spring time, when the previously calm and healthy players suddenly start to choke uncontrollably, resulting in a freefall down the league table.

Elland Road officials are particularly worried as this year the choking began in January, putting even their customary division three play-off adventure in doubt.

So now the club – currently ranked the seventh best in Yorkshire – has taken a dozen paramedics off the dole queue to tackle the latest epidemic.

Meanwhile, the city’s supermarkets have stocked up with bulk supplies of Klennex to cope with the imminent demand from fans wiping away tears from their painted faces after their annual Wembley disappointment.

And bookshops in Leeds have ordered in more stocks of A-Z travel guides to Accrington, Chesterfield and Rochdale, so that the Whites fans can navigate their way to games next season.

Leeds United officials were unavailable for comment as, like all Wessies, they are all on Withernsea beach the moment there’s a drop of sunlight.

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Show Alan Green a league table and a map

BBC Radio Five Live commentator Alan Green really should know better. Lives in Cheshire, supports Liverpool, has covered football matches for thirty years – he’s not some braying, London-centric junior. So you’d expect him to have a rudimentary knowledge of who Hull City are, which division they are in and in which city the team plays.

But I’m reliably informed that on at least three occasions when Leeds United fans have called his radio phone-in he’s expressed the hope that the W***e S***e gain two quick promotions as ‘Yorkshire needs a Premier League team.’ Erm, excuse me, but which bit of that phrase does Hull City not fulfil?

Besides that, Sheffields United and Wednesday, Barnsley and Doncaster Rovers are all much closer to joining the Tigers in the top flight – Middlesbrough too, depending on which boundaries you wish to set for Yorkshire.

According to his Wikipedia entry, Green’s fallen out with, among others, Sir Alex Ferguson, Mark Saggers and Sam Allardyce, while he’s made racist remarks about black and Chinese people. Well, you can add Hull City fans to the list of people he’s insulted.

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Let’s Kick Leeds Out Of Football

The city of Hull – and just about every other conurbation in the Western Hemisphere – celebrated long into the night as Leeds United lost in the Division Three play-offs last night.

If you need reminding why Leeds are despised by every other set of fans, just take a look at this picture from last night’s game from the Yorkshire Evening Post website.

Leeds - the family club

Leeds - the family club


During the game Millwall’s goalkeeper was struck by a coin, while afterwards hundreds of Leeds fans rampaged through the city.

This comes after the club went unpunished for the thuggish pitch invasion during the game on the day they were relegated from the Championship. (‘Super Deano, he sent the Leeds down’).

Not to mention the way they tried to squirm their way out of punishment for going into administration.

Just what will it take for the authorities to finally kick Leeds out of football?

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